There is a piece of me that is missing.
Anyone who has lost their mom can identify with the feeling.
Mother’s Day is always a day that stirs up emotions even more because of her absence. I do have a diversion because I am a mom.
My kids and husband do sweet things for me during the day to make me feel special but the void is still there. Grief doesn’t have an expiration date.
I hate that she isn’t here to see them.
I hate that I can’t call her, confide in her, or get her encouragement or advice.
I miss the feeling of having a member on my team, who knows me well and believes the best in me.
I hate that I can’t watch her share the lives of my kids as they grow. Knowing how excited she was when my first was born….. I hate that she never met my second.
I hate disease and cancer for what it has taken from me and my friends.
I hate that we are in this club of sorts, navigating our lives without one of our biggest influencers.
I am grateful for the friends who can identify with the pain, but I wish we never shared membership of this club, to begin with.
I realize that I am not alone in this club and that I have had more years and memories than some of it’s younger members.
It still hurts no matter what age you are, no matter how long you had them in your life
I dislike the word hate but I can’t find another word strong enough for the emotions I feel.
If you hate the awkwardness/pain you can sometimes feel observing close mother/daughter relationships…I get it.
If you feel mad at the loss of moments you won’t get to share together…I get it.
If you fear that you will begin to forget her voice, smell, mannerisms……I get it.
If certain moments/times of year trigger memories that hit you stronger than others…… I get it.
If you have regrets about wasted time with the one you loved…I get it.
If you wish you would have spent more time talking about all the questions you can no longer ask……..I get it.
If you hate the awkwardness of telling a stranger your loved one has passed away… I get it.
If you’re mad at yourself for not taking advantage of “all things domesticated”…I get it.
If you wish you would have asked more questions about her hopes, fears, dreams…I get it.
If you wish you would have asked more questions about her childhood to give you a closer glimpse of her life…..I get it.
If you feel a little lost sometimes… I get it.
If you fear your memories of your loved one are beginning to fade… I get it.
If it feels like the world has moved on when your world paused in her absence…I get it.
Our Relationships With Our Moms Can Be Complicated
This is not meant to make people who still have their moms in their lives feel guilty or like they should be on eggshells around someone who is missing their mom.
My mom and I had a strained relationship in high school but we really grew in friendship once I left for college.
(my messy room was no longer a point of contention)
While away at school, the distance ironically brought us closer together as we got to share our hearts over phone calls.
We communicated our love to each other differently and sometimes that left each of us with hurts.
Our misunderstandings showed the way we were wired differently and yet the longer she has been gone, the more things I am finding in common with her.
I do understand the ups and downs and complaints about dealing with family members and it does not offend me to hear others venting about their relationships.
I guess this is just a reminder of what you already know…To try to love your mom as best as you can while she is still here.
Our Last Mother’s Day Together
This image was of my mom on her last Mother’s Day.
While bound to a chair, cancer filled her body with excruciating pain with each tiny movement.
That pain could not stop the bounds of her love for each person who entered the room to visit her..especially her only grandson.
You can feel free to ask us members of the “missing mom club” about our moms.
Sometimes it’s nice to share about what they were like, what our favorite things about them were and the ways we try to carry on their legacy.
It’s really great when we can remember the funny stories.
I know the real way to honor her is to live out her legacy of being a person of faith and love.
She gets to spend Mother’s Day with my brother in heaven….. and I look forward to being reunited with them one day too.
Happy Mother’s Day Mom! I love you and I miss you so much!
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65 thoughts on “Missing Mom-For Anyone Who Has Lost Their Mom”
Thank you Nedra I really appreciate that!
Corina, I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. I know that it’s extra hard as you are in your year of firsts without her as a stinging reminder of her absence. Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. Your mom sounds like an amazing woman. Lamby reminded me of a stuffed animal frog that someone gave my mom when she was in the hospital, that we still have. I’ve found that sharing my grief with others who “get it” helps me feel less alone in my pain. Here is a resource that might also be helpful to you as you grieve. https://healgrief.org
I came across this randomly today as I lost my mom to the “ c “ word in July this year. We were best friends, shared a home together and a life , we literally did everything together! There is absolutely no one on this earth like my mom! My life got turned upside down when she left. It hurts to be human and I’ll never be the same. I just want to go be with her. My mother had such a pure, sweet gentle soul, there we an innocence about her—she even had a little stuffed animal named Lamby with her in bed at the hospital. My pain feels so deep to not have her with me. I don’t know what to do. i never could have imagined a pain so deep. I just move forward out of having no choice, but my heart is hers and I find that I am like her in so many ways that I stop in my tracks and feel like I am my mom at times! i I don’t even know if that makes sense to anyone. I’m just broken without her. I really could go on and on about my mom, but I will never walk this earth not feeling that complete void. I sometimes feel I took her presence for granted, and I so didn’t mean to. Mom, you are my everything and you ALWAYS will be
Morgan, I’m sorry for the loss of your mom and the traumatic way that you lost her. You were just a kid and understandably in shock that day. I also thank you for your bravery to share your story with me. I was in 6th grade when my brother died and I didn’t get to say goodbye to my brother at the hospital. We didn’t know that he was so sick and he died quickly. It’s so hard to not have that closure with a loved one. Sharing your story with others is so helpful as part of your healing process. Your grieve changes over the years but unfortunately never fully goes away. I’ve also found that sharing my pain has helped others understand that they aren’t alone in theirs. I wanted to share a resource for you. They have online grief support groups for youth and resources available for you. https://nacg.org/find-support/
It’s December 16, 2022 today.
I’m 13 years old and I came across this post when I was just going through reading articles about who knows what and it reminded me of my mom. I lost my mom at the age of 7. It’ll be 7 years May 18. She died from blood clots in her heart…. When it happened I was home with my brother. We had been watching tv when my mom yelled at us to turn down the volume from her bed room. She then came out and turned it down herself when we didn’t. It wasn’t until about 15 minutes after she lay back down in her bed that she started screaming if agony. My brother, 12 at the time, ran in there and my mom told him to call 911. My mother stopped breathing when the ambulance was about 10 minutes away. My 12 year old brother was instructed by a paramedic over the phone to perform CPR on his own mother. I still to this day blame myself for not doing anything. When the ambulance arrived my dog went bonkers and tried attacking them. My brother had to stop CPR to get him because I was paralyzed by fear. I feel terrible about it but I could barely even think then. It was like everything except me could move. By the time my mom made it to the hospital they had gotten her heart to start but it failed when they got her in a room. They lost her and then they wouldn’t let me go and visit her. I was the only one they wouldn’t let go back there. And it hurts that I couldn’t even say goodbye. My brother got to talk to her before she died. I didn’t. I never heard her voice, I never saw her face, I never held her hand. At her funeral I had a panic attack. I saw her in her casket and just panicked. I tried to get to her, I tried to hold her hand, anything I could possibly do. The last thing I have of her is a bear made from her favorite hoodie. And I miss her every minute of every day. I just wish that she could’ve had have a quick and peaceful death rather than the long and dreadfully painful one she had. It doesn’t really help that about 3 months after her death my Grammy, her mother, took custody of my brother and I was left alone, just me and my dad. I haven’t seen my brother in 2 1/2 years. Thank you for making this post. I never get to talk about them and I feel a lot better all ready just by typing it out. I’ve never told anyone what happened until now. I really appreciate being able to just talk and not have to worry about getting any unwanted pity.
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. It’s so hard to lose a parent.
My mom passed last year. I miss her so much every day. Mom. I love you.
Tasheanna, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom and the pain that you’ve experienced. You’ve had such incredible strength and resilience as a survivor.
Sharing my story of loss and heartache from losing my mom has been very healing for me. It’s also been a way to connect with others who are also grieving and know that they are not alone. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers as you continue to move forward in your grief journey.
I lost my mother to suicide in March of 2020 while I was battling suicidal thoughts and depression myself. I hate myself so much for not doing more to save her. I miss her so much. I feel like a nervous wreck. Our whole family fell apart and I don’t know what to do. I’m still very young – she left behind 3 daughters and I am the eldest. It pains me so much to know that I am the lasting connection that my little sisters have to their mother. I just want her back 🙁 No matter how much I want to quit and give up – I know I can’t. Her legacy lives through me and my siblings and I can’t and will not let her down.
I’m crying a lot while typing this but thank you for posting this. God bless every woman that has to navigate life without their Mother.
I love you Mommy ???
Thank you for sharing your story Lisa. What a great legacy you will have in your mom’s honor as you make memories with your kids and grandkids.
Today, on Thanksgiving Day 2021, I came across your post. This post made me cry and also made me grateful for the time I had with my mom. I can relate to so much in this blog. My mom passed from a 4 year battle with Dementia – the kind of Dementia (Lewy Body) that feels like falling off a cliff – you are at a stable place for a decent period of time, them bam all of a sudden, you are exponentially worse. This is a horrific disease that stripped my mom of her most precious treasure – memories. Its on days like today that I miss my mom the most…the clanging around in the kitchen at 6am because she insisted that a Thanksgiving turkey MUST be started in the over as early as possible to give it time to ‘breathe’ after it’s done cooking. There are so many great memories of my mom and some tough ones also for me during high school. When my mom came to live with me and my family after she retired, I remember my close friends from high school asking me if I was nuts because my mom and I fought so much when I was younger. But as I got older, started my career and had children, I began to see the things that EVERYONE tells us “we become a lot like our moms” – this makes me laugh because, even at 54, my rebellious side comes out and says “no I am not like my mom” but in actuality I am a lot like her…all the good parts that she instilled in me and I am just now fostering. Mom’s are gems, they are like no one else to a daughter…I went to my mom with each big decision in my life until she got sick. She was always supportive and told me how proud she was of me. My biggest regret is that I don’t remember if I ever told her the same in return. She was my rock so many times and she never let me down. The best testament I can give her is to be there for my own children and grandchildren in a way that would make her proud. Be present in everyone’s lives…we are not promised a tomorrow.
Swati, I’m so sorry for your loss. My mom died from cancer in November and her birthday was November 24. I miss her so much and try to honor her life by living mine to the fullest in her honor.
Today is Nov 24 2021 , when I read this , I lost my mom 4.5 years ago . I miss her so much .. she was the only one who knew me , she kept me sane .. everyday is a struggle of some sort . My mom died due to cancer , I hope anyone who is struggling from losing their loved ones , can get the strength to move ahead in their life .
Mom I love you .. nobody can love me the way you used to do , every day I feel angry , restless , depressed , I don’t know how to tell people around me , that how iam feeling .. I try to find new things to indulge my mind in , but it’s impossible to take you out of my heart , to not to think about you . I have a step mom now , but it’s even more harder to behave like human in front of her , I always put on a mask to try to show her that she is loved , respected in our house , but beneath that mask I just feel I wish my mom was here .I feel everyone is moving ahead in their life , and I’m here stuck ,with my step mom and dad .. they live happily that iam grateful for , but what about me .. I don’t have anyone to be real with me . I also want to feel loved , to share this pain , I hope one day I will be free from this pain of loneliness , I hope one day I will meet my mother , and I’ll tell her all the things that hurt me while she was gone .
Thank you for sharing your story Debra. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. I can totally relate to dreading fall. November is my least favorite month because it’s both the month of my mom’s death date and her birthday that’s always around Thanksgiving. The holidays are always so bittersweet. One of the ways that you can try to honor her memory is by trying to live to fullest. I think that our moms would want to see us live our best life even though it’s heartbreaking that they are no longer in it with us.
I’m late in reading this. It’s November 18th, 2021, and I’m sitting here crying over my mom. She has been heavy on my heart lately. But first, I am so sorry to hear of your mama. My mom passed from the big C too. It was horrific to watch. I cared for her to the best of my ability. On her last Mother’s Day, weeks before she passed, we took her to the shore to see the ocean one last time. I have beautiful photos of these moments that were so special to me. I still can’t believe she is no longer here with me. She was my best friend, my everything, my favorite person in the whole world—how can she not be here? My heart breaks every single day, and it’s been 4 years she has been gone. I feel like half my soul has been ripped out of me.
Before she left this world, she gave me a big hug and wouldn’t let go. She said, “I love you, Debbie.” And I said, “I love you too, Ma.” And then she said, “I’m so worried about you!” And I said, “I’m worried about me too!” And we both laughed because it was so true. She and I both knew how much of a hard time I was about to face, yet she was facing every single person’s greatest fear.
Sometimes, I even pray to God to just bring me home. That’s how much I miss her. I feel like I have no more purpose here without her. During this time of year, where it gets dark at 4pm and with the holidays coming up, my heart is shredding once again. The waves are vicious, but I trust God will pull me out of this riptide.
God bless you, and may God heal your heart.
I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your mom too.
Thanks for your post. Lost mom this summer & reading that other people have the same feelings is helpful.
Thank you for sharing Remy! I’m so sorry that you lost both of your parents. I’ve been thinking about my mom a lot lately as my oldest son is getting ready for college and I wish that I could talk to her about all of the feelings that I have about it right now. I find myself thinking back to different times in my life and wondering what she was feeling as a parent during those times. I’m so glad that the article helped you remember some good memories. I think losing her has made me want to make memories with people I care about even more.
Thank you for this. My mom has been gone since 2006, same with my dad. But know that this super old post still helps people like me even now. I just searched “ I miss my mom” and read this. Made me smile thinking back to some good memories.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. I can’t imagine how hard it was to lose your mom as a teenager before going to college. You are right that no one can replace your mom but I’ll be praying that God sends you women who can be a mom figure to you in every season of life along the way. It’s also nice when other people “get it” although the loss of a parent is a club that you wouldn’t wish anyone to experience. We can honor our moms’ legacy by living to the fullest and applying what they’ve taught us, life lessons big and small.
Thank you for sharing you feelings through this post.
I was in my one of my weakest point in every single day of my life and this time I can handle it anymore so I search on the internet about missing my mom and some of the article I opened, I found yours.
I’m very grateful and thankful. That I can see others have the struggle of losing our mother.
I lost my mom when I was about going to 17 4 years ago. That was my first birthday without my mom.
That was also the year when I enter college.
My heart were tear apart and envy with the others that they have their mothers to relay on and take care of what they need. While I having hard time by myself and can’t tell it to the person that I trust the most, my mother.
I have my father, but I don’t want to make him think so much because I still have little sister and brothers and my older sister that kinda first-born thing.
I relay my life in situation and condition to God, but the wrong thing is I still cannot accept why is my mother has to be taken away.
It feels like hurts all the time. Every second, every minute, every time.
Kinda ruin my mental have to act strong and not bothered at trouble in my life just because I know that people not gonna understand my feelings and just wasting my time to share my biggest problem, that is losing my mom, to them.
I just shared that I was confused at lectures or food or just easy stuff.
Like, “you don’t know anyway how it feels, and when I share or tell you about this, that means I want you to tell me that I can meet my mother again”.
Because I have the thoughts above, thats why I don’t speak to people truly about my mom.
So that’s why I Thank God that He lead me to this blog so that I can see and know that, it is okay to miss your mom. It is okay if you hurt almost every day. It is okay to hope I can see her again. It is okay if sometimes some moments make us remember our mom and we sad about it. It is okay…
My mom is the person that cannot be replaced with anybody or anything. She is just one and only.
I don’t give a think about my dad new wife because I just don’t want to. And I not bothering them at all or making something bad like in movies because I don’t want my dad to get sad. Plus I know he get married again, but I won’t tell you guys #privacy.
I know you all who your beautiful lovely mother has gone home to God, have a feelings that sometimes other people don’t understand or know.
So I want to encourage you all to stay focus, I know it’s hard, but believe that our mothers are good nice person that surrounded by evil bad people that don’t have any heart or kindness, and God wants to release it so you, her child can realize how good nice your mothers are and people are just mean and bad and evil. That’s a though life lesson thought.
Okay, thank you for letting me to post this on your blog!
God bless you all!!
I’m so sorry for your loss. What a gift to have such a special mother who loved you and impacted your life so greatly. Praying for you during this difficult time.
Really i have no words 4 u. I love my mother so much .when she was dying due to covid , i told doctor that i will be his slave for lifetime if he could save my mother. I realize pain after losing my mother. My mother was amazing , i cannot overcome pain that make me dying every second. I can never forget my mother. I prayer so many times to god to save my mother,but nothing happens that kind.icant describe in words how much my mother loves me. I always regret that never ask her about her wishes. Before this time i do not how was the pain now i realize what is the pain. Mom love u so much
Hi Marc, you message just pierced thru my heart, my mom passed away last month from lung diesease and I can relate to the things you mentioned and I also want to live in the fantasy of reuniting in after life as it breaks my heart to think otherwise, I wish and hope you feel better soon and gather strength to recover from this unimaginable loss, I am not sure if you are single, married or are you in a relationship, but one thing i can say being in a good relationship helps a lot, try to focus on work and keep yourself busy, make new friends if possible, listen to motivational videos on youtube, reach out to your close family and friends and with time I hope we will recover from this pain thought it will never be gone forever but it will reduce for sure. All the best
Thank you so much for sharing your story Tallulah! You have been through so much at a young age and your strength and resilience through such hard things is so inspiring. What a gift that you had such a healthy relationship with your mom that has shaped you into the woman you are and set the standard for the relationships that you have today. Sending you a virtual hug back!
Even with my grandmas passing in December my mom’s love helped me to face being there for my grandma while she passed and while she was passing away. Moms are so important and this post helped me feel so united with others and not feel like I’m the only one who looks at a close mom and daughter relationship and feels sad because you ache to have that back in your life again. You are helping so many to grieve including me. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for this beautiful post and thank you so much for sharing your feelings. I have never related to something more than this. I feel so many of these things and what you wrote spoke to me so much. The detailed descriptions of the sensitive feelings that are felt around Mother’s Day and randomly on days when you remember her laugh or how her eyes looked when she smiled. I’m 19 now and I lost my mom when I was 12 years old from stage four colon cancer. She was my number one supporter and believed in me when I felt no one else did. Because of her I started to do what I felt what was right and surround myself with people I love. She is the main reason I love myself today and surround myself with people I love. She’s the reason I believed in my self and kept going when I was in an abusive household with my dad who died when I was 15 from a heart attack, and never stopped progressing and bettering myself after that when I was in another abusive household with the guardian I had. She’s the reason I have a healthy relationship with my amazing boyfriend who I am so in love with and am in love with my life and where I live, and will never stop growing, getting better always, and will always strive to grow emotionally, psychologically, emotionally, and be healthy in every other way. This post is so valuable and should be shared with everyone. I feel so relieved to not feel alone. Thank you a million times over. I send a virtual hug to you!
I appreciate your sharing your feelings. Ours was a Mother-Son relationship — though she was far more … my best friend, confidant, voice of reason and support, “bestest footrub giver”, the only person who could make me feel better, even when anti-anxiety and anti-depressants weren’t working, simply by holding my hand or being in contact with me.
We had a wonderful journey, but that damn “C” word had to raise its ugly head and come back long after she was pronounced cured and told not to worry about anything since five years clean had come and gone on Tomoxifin.
We were told B.C. mets to the bone was a treatable situation, and for a time, it seemed to be working, but Ca 27-29 tests continued to show increasing numbers even each time protocols were changed.
I worry about how I might have made her feel when she was having difficulties and I was frustrated — I hope I didn’t lose my temper … I can’t remember, but I know she loved me dearly, as much as I love her, and that she would forgive me anything, but I’m scared and worried about what will come in the future.
I do fear not being able to be with her … I like to believe that we all reunite after our time here ends, but without actually knowing, it’s a big concern. How could everything be so fantastical and perfect for us to enjoy together when our lives here taught us that things weren’t fair, and bad things happen to good people.
I so want to one day wake up from the dream that is life and see Mom, Dad, and all of our animal family members, and the rest of the family too, there to welcome me home and fill me in on what awaits.
But with the simplest solution generally being the correct answer, there’s the concern that nothing awaits us when we pass and we simply cease to be. That breaks my heart — I refuse to believe it, but I have no say in the matter, though I choose to have Faith that we will all one day be reunited again.
Anyway, I tend to find myself writing long notes like this when I’m hurting, so a scour of the Internet will probably one day show hundreds if not thousands of such messages. I can only hope they serve some purpose and do some good, even if it’s simply to exhaust myself from the feelings by putting them to press.
If you have any advice or suggestions, or anything that might help me better believe in what awaits us afterwards, please let me know. Thank you again for sharing … I’ve felt most everything you covered, and a few others that are beyond and even more painful. Oh how I miss her and how I’d love to be able to see, hear, hug, and hold her again. It’s not fair … but then again, not much is, so we just take what we can get and try to keep moving forward.
I’m so sorry that you also lost your mom. Thank you for sharing your story, Anna.
Today I was missing my mom so much and I stumbled upon your article. Your words hit me so hard. It is rightly said that we truly understand the value of someone only when they are no longer with us.
Its been 9 years and the grief, sorrow and the pain hasn’t lessened an inch. Sometimes I wish for just one more day with her so that I could show her how much I truly valued her. If only we could go back in time, then maybe I would also be like every other teenager enjoying her life instead of going through all these hardships and learning life lessons the hard way.
The only thing I can do now is fulfill all her dreams and become someone she would have been proud of.
Missing you so much..
I’m so sorry for your loss Manoj. I heard someone say that we don’t move on, we just move forward. I share so many of your feelings. It’s so hard to lose your mom. I hope that you find God’s comfort during this time and know that you are not alone. Thank you so much for sharing.
I am not expressive to share my feelings to person. but Thanks for providing this platform. Sometimes you really can’t hold. I lost my beautiful, lovely, mom 7 years back, because of cancer, when I was just graduated from my college . I spent with her in hospital for a month. She left us and passed away in my arms in a hospital. I was traumatized, I don’t know how I survived that moment. I can’t even think of that time. I pray no one has to go through that kind of experience. Still I cannot believe she is not here. I live abroad and avoid to go back to home fear of knowing that she won’t be there.. The home looks empty without her, the memories haunt back. Every time I think of her , tears fall from my eyes. The older I grow , the more I miss her. I am more successful now than in the past, I wish she was here to see this. This is so unfair of God. I Love you mom.
II know everyone’s feelings lost my mom to June 6 2017 day part of me died with her oneday maybe we all get see our moms again least I’d like to believe that possible
That is exactly where I’ve been feeling for the past 2 years. I was 16 when she passed away. That happen all of a sudden in sleep. And even since then my life seriously paused. The real me is gone .
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry that you have also experienced losing your mom too. I have hope that I will one day see her again because of my faith and I understand the pain of missing your mom. It’s even harder around the holidays because I wish she was here with us too.
I lost my mom 4 months back Whenever I feel a bit happy I get guilty feelings I think I have no right to live without her she was the one who gave me life now wat I am doing without her I listen to her voice messages how sweet she called me my dear how it’s possible that I won’t c her again I can’t imagine living more 30 or 40 yrs without her I don’t know if der is an after life or no but thinking of not seeing her make me crazy since I lost my beautiful mom I have got closer to my dad and now I’m afraid of losing him wat if he dies too I can’t bare more lose and pain I usually read about others who lost their moms I read abt their struggles their feelings n it give me comfort that I’m not the only one. But today no matter how much I read it seems I can’t get that comfort so instead desided to write this time sorry for my poor English
I totally agree. I lost my mom while I was 6 months pregnant with my second child. She knew I was having a girl and thrilled that I was adding another girl to her already nine grandchildren. I always had a special bond with my mom and she was my #1 fan. It’s been over 8 years and I’m crying today as the holidays are still tough- especially losing my dad on my birthday almost three years ago now. My mom was the glue that held our family together and now I’ve estranged from my brother and sister and their kids, so I sppend holidays alone and send my daughters to their father to have a family to have the “family holiday meal” and experience I can’t give them. Not only have I lost my mom and bow dad, I feel as though I’ve lost the only two adults that loved and cared about me. I do my best to be strong for my girls, but it’s a daily challenge. I could relate to everything you said. I look forward to joining my mom and dad one day.
I lost my Mum September 21st 2015, from cancer also, and it’s raw for me now as it was that day. Your words touched me as if you read my mind! Just this past mother’s day brings so much to the surface like you said, and it is so hard for anyone to understand what your feeling but still have to put a smile on your face for your kids trying to give you a happy Mother’s Day . Just so many of your “I get it” points are so spot on, I do feel we’re in a club! My Mum and I were best friends, and everyday without her is a struggle! Thank you so much for putting your feelings into words and sharing this. Stay strong xx
Renee, I’m so sorry that you are also in the “club” and it really means so much to me that you shared this. Hugs to you as you continue in the journey.
It’s so wonderful to have this…and I’ve shared it with new “club” members as this year has been difficult for a few of my friends and family members. I’m three years annointed to the membership. My co-worker who lost her mother 40 years ago…handed me a print out with the story and I felt compelled to share…the loss never goes away and the pain of it never ever heals. You just submerge it in the private cave of treasures…it will erupt from time to time with an intense sharpened sense of loss, pain and guilt…with a few sprinkles of anger. I thank you for the “I get it”, because so many who haven’t gone thru the initiation…just don’t “get it”…it’s painful…I’ve posted this to my FaceBook page in hopes it can comfort someone as it did me. Tears yes…but the flow doesn’t fall all day…Hugs to you and again many thanks for writing it so eloquently….all the best,
Thank you for sharing Nikki! I’m so sorry that you also lost your mom. I wish our moms were here too!
Hi, I found this thru the years as I am grieving also. Thank you for writing it. All that you’ve said is true. Your words are beautifully written. My mother has been gone 21 years (cancer) I was 19 when she passed and have lived my entire adult life without her. Life is hard without her and I need her is much. I need her right now. Thank you for sharing.
I understand what comments were made about missing one’s mom. I went through this with myself. My mom passed away in 2004. There is not a say which goes by i do not think of her and all the good advice she gave me as I was growing up and after I was a adult. Like she said “my words will ring in your ears in years to come”. They sure have. She was young at heart and loved to get together with family and most of all her children and grandchildren. She had her ups and downs like everyone else but always remained optimistic.
I am always happy to see mother and daughter/son enjoying a day out together. Like someone said in their comment, enjoy your mom while she is alive and able to get up and go out. They appreciate it so much. My comments, ditto for my mother-in-law and aunts.
Thank you for sharing that. I’m sorry to hear that you lost your mom too. I think it’s great to know that we are not alone in this and I think you will also be able to encourage others by sharing your experience.
I lost my mom to a very rare cancer that was in her jawbone. She passed away 12/12/12. I just read a book by Jenna rose lawthert titled “life goes on” and It really inspired me to share my experience of being a motherless daughter by writing a book or a blog to inspire others that are going through the same thing. I really liked your post, it’s exactly how I feel.
Thanks Chasity! What a sweet quote to share.
Wow Jamie! Such sweet words. They made me teary eyed. Thank you!
I get it too. Thanks for sharing.
Your mom was so amazing that it is difficult to begin to try to find the words she would have for you…..but you are such an inspiration to all women, young and old. You have a fire that you share with your mom; they are a different fire but the passion is still the same. You change women’s lives everyday with the things you do, your adventures and your thoughts you share with the world each day with your blog. I am amazed by the woman that I see today; having known you my whole life and knowing your mom you have made her memory live on in the most beautiful way she could have ever asked. I love you and I hope you have an awesome day! We will be at KI if you are around that area.
Nedra, I have no words to express my condolences to you… but your words speak enough. You were a lovely friend, when I needed one the most. Your mother’s spirit lives on in you, and you are undoubtedly a loving, beautiful person inside & out. Happiest Mother’s Day to you lovely.
“Thank you for touching my life in ways you may never know. My riches do not lie in material wealth but in having friends like you – a precious gift from God.”
— Azgraybebly Josland
What a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for sharing Becky! I’m sorry that you are in the club too. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been without her or the age it happened, it’s just hard. I hope you find ways to honor her memory as you live your life to the fullest. That’s what I’m attempting to do:)
I was looking through Facebook tonight, seeing all the pictures of my childhood friends and their children, and I started thinking about growing up in my small town in western New York. Inevitably, I thought of my mother, who was such a monumental part of my life. I lost her in 1991, when she was 45 and I was 22. Although it has been 21 years, some days the pain is still as raw as if it were yesterday. I stumbled upon your blog when, through my tears, I thought I would look for anyone who has blogged about the unique experience of losing her mother. As you say, it is a club of sorts, but not one I chose nor wanted to be a part of. Thanks for your post. It is comforting to know that someone else out there feels the way I do. Sad. Angry. Lost. Alone. Thanks for “getting it.” And damn Facebook, anyway! 🙂
I am sorry for your pain. I lost my Mom/best friend/confidant/shoulder in Sept of this year. The pain we feel is un unexplainable. Thank you for your blog and God bless.
Gina- I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. It is such a hard experience to go through. I unfortunatley have a few close friends who have also lost their moms at an early age who also understand the pain of losing a mom that I confide in. You and your family will be in my prayers and please feel free to call me (I’ll message it to you) if you ever need someone to vent or talk to. My mom died in 2004 and I still miss her so much.
Thank you for sharing your story, your mom looked so beautiful on her last day, I would have need known if you had not mentioned it. thank you for sharing your story I felt comfort today after reading this. I lost my mom June 16 2012. I am devastated.
So beautiful are you because of your mom. Thank you for sharing. I jut lost my mom suddenly on June 16th 2012. I am still numb today and devastated beyond belief. Your article gave me comfort today. Thank you.
Desiree- I believe heaven does exist and that’s what gives me hope for the future. Thanks for sharing and stopping by:)
You honor your Mother every day by being the amazing Mother she raised you to be. Just as your Mom made the world a better place by simply being in it– you are doing the same. Her legacy lives on.
I haven’t lost my mom or my grandmother yet.. but the thought of losing either one of them breaks my heart. The horrible thing is that it can’t be stopped. I wish we had a world without disease. It’s not fair how people are taken away from our lives because of a reason other than old age.
If the afterlife and heaven do exist I hope when I lose my parents they will still be with me.
Your post was really sweet. I bet your mother is really proud of you.
What a sweet post about your mom. I love the pictures and the energy you can feel coming from her. I haven’t lost my mother, but my grandmother to cancer. I can see the pain in my mom’s and aunt’s eyes on that day, and understand why my aunt can’t attend a church meeting that day. It’s too painful to be reminded that her mom was taken at such a young age to a horrible disease. We each deal with the pain in our own way, and that’s okay, too.